"I'm the Girl" by Cynthia Spencer.
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shapeofabox In issue 18 we present a poem titled "I'm the Girl" by Cynthia Spencer. Copyright 2009. Images and music under creative commons. BIO: Cynthia Spencer is a first-year student at Beloit College. Her interest in words can be traced back to early childhood, when she would sit in her father's office in Rocky Hill, NJ and page through his dictionary. She began writing short stories at age 10, but shifted her focus to poetry in high school. Her work can be found at http://cynthiaspencer.blogspot.com. Im The Girl by Cynthia Spencer Im getting buried under coats cause I dont feel like dancing like I did that night with the noise and the lights and the hands. Thats right, Im the girl you kissed at that concert and never saw again, but I gave you a hug before I walked away. I never thanked you for the dance, but then again, neither did you. You tasted like cherry Trident. and my brother probably saw, but for a moment it was almost worth it. For a moment, I had hands and arms and warm, wet breath behind me. The problem was when there was nowhere else to go and bodies flying overhead and you just wouldnt go away. My hands on yours around my waist a censure and a wish for something better. Your lips on my shoulders a wish of your own but I swore I would not turn around. Until I did, we were only dancing. Until I did, I wasnt to blame. But I am the girl who came when you called, came out of my bed to your car to the parking lot where we hid from your parents and sister and friends. I thought youd keep me warmer than my blankets could, so waited on the porch for your headlights, recognizable, to crawl, slow and steady, up my street to pick me up on your way home like dinner from McDonalds. Im the girl who crossed the street with you my first summer night, the night you bought me my first beer, and I was betrayed by my first fake friend. None of us knew who we were dealing with then, but I have since learned, oh, how I have learned that your enemies are always closer than your friends, and all it takes is an inch to make the difference. Away from all the backseats, the brick walls, the empty parking lots Id come to call ours, I breathed freely for a while, but whats weird is I still miss being crushed, flesh on flesh, which is why Im the girl who invited you up to my room even though I knew just what it meant, and hell, Im impressed you remember my name. Now I just wish the solution was easy as a simple hug and a vanishing act, off into the crowd.
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